rancorous

I accept your apology, you're forgiven,
But don't think I'll forget what you did
How could I possibly forget?
Those endless moments you left me dying
The sleepless nights I spent thinking of you
The time I wasted, waiting for you 
I'll never get them back
I'm living again, but part of me's gone
I'm living again, but I'll never get back those lost moments in my life

I can't forget the bad times
The hard times
The pained times
I forgive everything you've ever done
I still love you even more and more
Still want to be with you
Still want to hold you
After everything 
Everything I've forgiven

Is this the way I'll always live?
Torn apart by memories
Torn apart by forgiven sins
Forgiven nightmares
Forgiven abuse
This is how I'll live, forgiven but not forgotten.

Jakarta Fair

Finally...that's the word i've said when i first arrived at JIExpo Kemayoran Jakarta.. the place where Jakarta Fair or  Pekan Raya Jakarta is hold.  Jakarta Fair is an annual event in Jakarta that held around june - july to celebrate Jakarta's anniversary. the first Jakarta Fair was held on 1968 in Suharto's Era..and it's like a must when the event hold, Jakartans or dwellers who live around jakarta visit the fair..

and me, in my old 22 now, i've never been to PRJ ( the short name of Jakarta Fair)..until last saturday (June 19), my boyfriend and our friends took me to the PRJ! hoyayyy... like a dream come true (too much..) it just like i feel so curious why everybody ever been there, and i've never..hihihi

i had no idea what  PRJ is about before i came there, i thought it was a (not too large in my mind) large field crowd with people and stands that offer products just like in school bazaar.. ridiculous when i saw the real PRJ (not in my mind)..it is GREAT! like 1 million times my thought! the field is not a field.. it is a super massive field as it is apparently had became an airport in the past, no wonder! the stands is also not a small stand that i used to see in malls..it's like a showroom...huuuuaaaa i amazed! it's all beyond my expectation!
all the products including foods, drinks, electronic, automotive, clothing, accesories, furniture are displayed attractively..wow almost all what you need are available there! plus you can get a big discount for all products..all in SALE!! and poor me.. i didn't bought enough money there..but actually i didn't plan to shopping, i just want to see the euphoria of the event and see the people excitement..and it make my weekend so BLAST! thanks to boyfie and friends :)

the ticket : IDR 20K 

near Gambir Expo, the rainbow appeared after the rain stopped

one of the must ice cream in PRJ Bungeo Ssamankho (korean ice cream)! vanila+red bean & expresso ! delicious!

me &  my besty Tria..with Zakumi.

my favorite SPB (Sales Promotion Boy)..he makes me want the ice cream more and more :p

anyway..

HAPPY 483rd ANNIVERSARY to the capital city of Indonesia JAKARTA!

please don't build any malls anymore, build many parks and don't let people have car more than one! 

give the very best facility to the pedestrian and bikers.

I LOVE JAKARTA

thing can not be forgotten

To forget the mistakes of someone is more difficult than to forget my own mistakes to him/her..

it's a very bad behaviour, yes i know, but to heal the broken heart is not that easy. Our heart is just like a broken glass that have been glued, though the glass is back to a normal shape however the scar will always be seen..

i know it is something in the past, and everything has changed to be better..but still, i can not forget how SHE took my half soul from me.. without knowing my existence and how hurt to be me at this time..

it's all become a deadly virus in my life, i keep on thingking that someday she will back to stole my half soul again..

it is because i feel so theatened with her, i don't know why, maybe because she is more beautiful than me, or smarter than me, and all her charms will steal his heart, again...

all that thoughts is driving me insane!

i feel so sad
i feel so dissapointed
i feel so pissed off

and top of all..

i won't forget these all..
sorry..i just can't.
i will take this till i leave this world,
maybe...

weekender..

“The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend"  Chuck Palahniuk

i always waiting for my weekend moment..it's always almost all about making fun with people i love the most in my life, my family, my boyfie and my besty..

when i was a kid, weekend is a breaking day of school it means one night in whole day when i don't need to think about my homework or task from my teacher, and when the sunday morning comes it means that i don't have to take a bath early and i can watch a continous kid movie until 12 pm. i really loved watching doraemon and i become a cat lover because that movie, untill i found that doraemon is only a blue fat cat doll who doesn't have anything in his pocket ( i checked it on the Golden Truly mall, when i was in the 6th grade). The Doraemon thing has dissapointed me so much. there is no real cat who can grant my wish, they only make things so bad besides their cuteness. HAHA that's a small picture of my weekend moment in the past. 

but now...

weekend is like a rest day..where u can have a body n mind relax..having a monotonous activity during the weekdays make ur nerves so stiff, so these two days, saturday n sunday are the best day to have a refreshment!! i love to spent my weekend with my big family, my aunties, my uncles and my cousins, also my nephew n niece..we ussually gather in my grandma house, eating the foods that are made by us, or just chit chating till late at night, it is hillarious n warm! or having the whole weekend with my besty, we ussually spent the day to some places in the town or traveling out of town! and last but not least..i love the moment with my boyfie..actually i've already rarely spent my weekend only both of us, we ussually take our friends with us, it's more fun. :) 

my weekend with him in Curug Cikaso, Sukabumi, West Java (June 6 2010)

this is the most common thing for us on the weekend, out for eating!

snorkling with friends (Pramuka land,Thousands Island)

Dinner with my family :)

Me and him in 20 years

this is me in 20 years..
hmm looks like an Arabian mommy who has 9 children and doesn't have enough time anymore to have a body treatment...

and this is him in 20 years..

hmmm.. he's still handsome and a daddy of 9 children..Rock on you baby! ;p

the point is...there is no forever young...everything that new will be old someday..;p

my extended driving license..finally..

yehaaay..after pending it for almost 4 months, finally i have my driving license renewed! all the process to get my driving license to be extended is by my self without being accompanied by mother anymore..actually that's the point. I proud of my self because now i am not a liltle girl anymore..i can do it by my self..hehehe..

i have a full gut to drive my motorcycle at full speed without worrying the police will ask  my (expired) driving license ;p , now it has been renewed!

home sweet home

i miss to live in my parents house (the house now is being renovated)..does it means my house also? whatever.. one thing for sure, i find a freedom there..you know old proverb that says Home Sweet Home? it really is true.. when you stay in a fancy mansion or physically the house is more beautiful than your house, you still don't feel it is a home..then finally you really missing to back to your own house though the house is only a hut...

i miss my room..

i miss to stay a long day in my house..

i miss to invite everybody i like to my house..

most of the top...

i miss to take  care of my cats that i have been neglecting for this 6 months..i miss them so..

God give us your hands to make the day come true..the day when i come back to my house..i beg you GOD..