Rabu, Mei 12, 2010

IBU..you are the greatest thing i needed most!

Last night I had a horrible dream ever!! i don’t remember exactly the chronology , but one thing for sure , and the most frightening moment on that dream is when I see my mother lying on a divan, covered with batik cloth and there are many people around her who read Yasin.. and that scene on my dream has made me crying histerically, I cried her name and suddenly I woke up and realized that my tears is keep running on my cheek..my thoughts flying away.. I pronounced istigfar and hamdalah in the same time..astagfirullah for I remember that I have so many fault to her, hamdalah for it just a dream and i ‘m still given one more chance to see my mom and to say sorry to her for all mistakes I’ve done.

The dream is just like a ‘wake-up call’ in my life, especially for my bond with my mom..for 22 years I’ve been delivered by her, I know deep inside my heart, that she is my real guardian angle, she’s the master of every task. For all the things I didn’t say to her, about how I felt along the way, it doesn’t mean I don’t love her much. Me n mom don’t get used to express our feeling by our body language or sweetest words, but we both know we love each other. Especially her, I know she love me much and she will do anything..ANYTHING she can just to give me the best thing I need..though it has to sacrifice herself.

The dream makes me realized that she is the most important thing in my life , I place her after ALLAH SWT, and simply I can’t live without her. I can imagine what if the dream is real, one thing for sure I’m not ready for now, I still need her much, I want to make my mom happy, I want to grant her wish, I hope in the near time, I know she really want to see Borobudur  and Prambanan temple, walking on Jogja and Solo streets, I want to stand 5 cm in front of Ka’bah with her, I want to take her traveling to the place she really want to be there and give her any stuffs she likes. God please grant my wish, don’t take her  from this world. I know dead it’s all human destiny, but please, don’t decide her dead before I grant her wish. As I always ask You in my every prayer God, give my mom happiness in this world, and give her the best spot in Your heaven. For all the terrible things she have been through in live, and she keeps hangin on , I know she deserve it. I love you Ibu.

God I know you came to me through my dream..
I know u woke me up through your message on that dream..
May be I am a biggest sinner
You got me into this situation
I have to be more caring to her
I have to be more loving to her
I promise God, I will take this chance, to give her the best thing I can.
I will never frowning, angry, and yelling to her anymore.
God Grant my wish for her J

Jumat, Mei 07, 2010

never knew i needed

every time I listen to this song my  feeling immediately become so creepy ..somehow it continues to poison my mind..it turns out that you really have occupied a few spots in my heart, although at the first time i feel much doubt, but every time I think about you, it all make me so confuzzled.i never thought before it will be happened, i vowed to my self n i' m sure that i will never have more than one person to place in my heart, and suddenly now it could be a little turned around because of you, and nobody can do that. Previously, Many who had tried but my faithfulness to him was never wavered, and now YOU  shakes my defenses ..

like the words in this song .. it's all fit for you!

For the way you changed my plans
For being the perfect distraction
For the way you took me
I knew that I had, everything that I wanted to have

You made me see there was something missing
For the ending of my first begin
Oh yeah yeah, oh yeah yeah oh
And, for the rare and unexpected friend
Oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh

For the way you're something that I would never choose
But at the same time something I don't wanna loose

I don't ever wanna be without her again

You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So, when you walked in, I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
See now it's so clear I need you here

My accidental happily ever after
The way you smile now you've gone for me
With your laughter
I must admit you weren't a part of "My Book"
But, now if you open it up and take a look
You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

You're the best thing I never knew I needed
So when you walked in I had no idea
You're the best thing I never knew I needed
See, now it's so clear I need you here

Who knew that I could be?
So unexpectedly
Undesierabley happy. Oh so with you
Right here right here next to me!

The Princess & the Frog - Ne-Yo "Never Knew I Needed"