Kamis, Desember 09, 2010

Happy Birthday Ibu

It’s about 23 years ago, when I was still inside the warm narrow space entwined by the umbilical cord, I was clueless about this world. As I struggled to see the world that you told me when I was still in the narrow space , I know that pain couldn’t make you give up, you would be willing to surrender your life just for me. I can not imagine, so much blood was wasted from your body because I was destined to be born without amniotic fluid , that is your first sacrifice for me.

I remember, when you had to leave me with my aunts and our neighbor , because u had to go to office, I can understand it and never complained, because you struggled to buy me and my brother  the best milk we could drink. Well, I know, as a child I could spend dozens of cans in a month.

I remember, every Saturday you always pick me and my brother up from my grandfather's house, by yourself, we went home by using public transportation, you should lap my brother, and I sat in the passenger sit that the benefits in terms of drivers, do not expect a child occupied as it is usually paid half fare, and you always yelling to the driver and stared at me “ Hey Mister, i will pay full for my daughter sit”.

I remember when I had to do crafts for school work, and I was falling asleep while i have not finish it and when I woke up, as if an angel had came down there last night and conjure my crafts that were still unfinished to be complete and good. It turns out that you are the angel.

I remember when I asked for whatever I want, I never whine like little kids mostly, because you know how to make me understand that something we want , is not always to be realized, except if you want to try hard. I know you're not spoiling me that way, but you always meet my needs, not my wishes.

I remember when I first entered kindergarten , elementary, junior high school to university,  you've never forced me to go to school or department that you want, but you always give the best choices and in the end the decisions given all to me.

I remember when I was heartbroken and could not resist the tears, i woke up in the middle of the night, i was looking for you, and truly magical, every words you said to me at that moment has made me get up and stronger. You never blame someone else even though I hate the hell out of the person who has broken my heart at that time. You always say, the key is back to ourselves, self reflection, and then moving on, the mistakes are a reference to go forward.  I was moved on  from a broken heart-wrenching because of your advice.

I remember when I felt inferior because I am not like my friends who have everything, you always say "do not always look up, look down, there are still many people who are less fortunate than you."

I remember when you lead me to the doctor every time I was sick, lead me to take a form to apply for a job, as I do not know who else I can count on, you're the first person there for me. You always say, never depend on anyone else. If there is a thing that we can do by ourselves, just trying to do thing by your own first.

I remember when I was hospitalized, you've treated me well and never left me alone, willing to sleep on the cold mat, and leave all other obligations. I do not know if I can do the same thing to you.

I know,  the more I grew up you did not talk much, you let me grow up according to what I want, sometimes you just remind me when I was a little turn , and you always give me your hand for any difficulties that I faced. Never complained of anything worst happened in your life, although i knew your burden is very heavy. Hopefully I can become as strong and tough as yourself someday.

Mother, Ibu, Desmawati Zulkifli, who I love most after Allah SWT.

I wish Your blessing is always accompanied me , hopefully your pray always be granted by Allah SWT, may every sweat that comes out to your sacrifice will wipe out your sins, and hopefully the ultimate happiness in the world and the hereafter is always abundant for you, may Allah SWT make you stronger to face every temptation that Allah SWT provides, may your children can make you proud and replace some tears that came out from your sacrifice for your children. Thank you for always there for us mom.

Happy birthday Ibu ..

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